The only certainty in life- Death, and what it means

Do you ever wonder what it's going to be like when you die? It's inevitable yet we try to avoid talking about it as much as possible. To you personally, nothing will happen, except that you will cease to exist of course. With due respect to religious beliefs of all faiths, I personally don't believe in any sort of reincarnation or afterlife, and so I’m strangely comforted by the fact that it will be just like any time before I was born. No consciousness, just at peace and everything blank. It’s hard to describe. While still knowing and believing that, it’s ironic how much time I spend thinking about death. The COVID-19 stories are all around us, and while I hope I don’t get the virus and am reasonably confident that I’ll survive it if I do get it, it is scary to imagine the fact that I might die alone in a hospital room, which would not be ideal. I’ve also thought about how I’d like it to happen, though we don’t really get to choose. Most people say they’d rather just die in an ‘instant’, as opposed to suffering. I agree partly; while I definitely would not want to suffer, I would also like to have some inkling that I’m going to die, and not just be there one moment and dead the next. Selfishly, I think I almost deserve the chance to know that I’m dying, so I have some time to do the things I need to, say goodbye to the people I want to, while not being in too much pain. But that’s not something that I bother about too much, because it really is beyond my control. What I really worry about, is living a life worth living. There’s no definite answer for that too, it’s all relative of course. It’s also hard to plan out because there’s no guarantee of how long you’ll live, which also means it’s important to not get so caught up in goals that you miss out on the simple joys of life. There might also be external factors that come into play to derail your plans, just like the COVID pandemic. I don’t think it’s quite the doomsday scenario that people are forecasting it to be, but it will definitely set people back by a couple of years, which in the grand scheme of things, is also not much. I guess I also worry about how I’ll be remembered, yes peer pressure even after you’re dead and gone! I’ve joked that I’d like to attend my own funeral to have the chance to hear people say nice things about me, and while that will likely happen, I’d want to be remembered as a good human being beyond that time too. It is scary and a massive hit to the ego when you realize that unless you do something exceptional in life, you will likely be a forgotten relic of history as time goes by. Your children will remember you, your grandchildren might, but beyond that, you’ll be forgotten. It will almost be like you didn’t exist. So then, is there really a point to exerting myself so much in my lifetime to ‘make a name’ for myself? Should I instead be focusing only on myself, and be selfish in that regard? What even is the whole point of life, and what should you be focusing on? I said in my opening paragraph that I don’t personally believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. I don’t have definitive proof of this, nor does anyone else, irrespective of what they believe in. So I’m going to try to not think about it because no one knows and there’s no way to find out. It’s something that’s going to happen one day anyway, so let it happen when it has to. Till then, I think it’s important to focus on yourself and just try to be happy and content with what you have and to surround yourself with people who love, inspire and make you happy, and while this may sound simplistic, just be a good person. I’d love to hear some of your views. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking about this, so I’d love to know how you deal with this, and what your philosophy is both regarding death, and the best way to live life, knowing that it is finite and unpredictable. Thank you for reading!