Reality TV Time: 'Too Hot To Handle' Episode 4 Replay!

I’m sorry if you thought me not posting about this show for a day meant I’d given up on it. In the words of the great Donald Trump, because why not “Sorry all you losers and haters!” We’re almost at the halfway stage, here’s all that happened in Episode 4. In case you forgot, Bryce, the David Cameron lookalike, is here. He’s from LA, which Nicole believes gives him a ‘Hollywood vibe’, and also lives on a boat, which makes intellectual giant Haley wonder if that means he’s rich or broke. And as a reminder, he has sex every day, and never with the same girl. Meanwhile, there’s trouble in ‘forming deeper connections’ land. Sharron, who’s here for personal development, confesses to Harry that he can’t let his guard down even though he really wants to open up to Rhonda. Harry understands and feels similar levels of frustration with Francesca, though in his case, he’s just an immature moron, as he proves moments later when he says “She’s going to come back to the stallion who sits in front of you”

Might take a while for that to happen though, because rule-breaker Francesca has her eyes on ‘The Accountant’, Kelz. She doesn’t care how many rules she breaks and how much money she costs the team because she’s making her millions on Instagram anyway, we learn. Kelz reminds us he’s the Accountant when he tells us he’s definitely not going to be embezzling any funds. Just as the show starts to get a bit serious, Bryce arrives to crush that notion when he arranges an ‘offshore’ party, where half of them are wearing sailor’s caps. He considers himself a musician and wants to play everyone an original composition on his ‘piano’ (it’s actually a keyboard to show how stands out. Again, just as you think someone here might have a shred of talent, he tempers expectations by playing two chords repeatedly, while ‘singing’ terribly off-key. Chloe doesn’t seem to mind, she wants lessons from the ‘God of Piano’, which Bryce thankfully and modestly denies being. Francesca comes up with the best line of the episode when she says “I think they’d be good together, they’re mentally on the same level”.

But the piano tutorial isn’t enough. They catch up over a glass of wine later, where Bryce says his ‘type’ is a ‘brunette with long hair and a British accent’. It takes Chloe a while to take this in, but she comes to her senses and says “So, am I your type then?” Hmm, I wonder. She has a lot of willpower though and so has been able to handle the challenge of not doing anything sexual, which Bryce tells her he might not be able to because he’s ‘only a man’. Yay for stereotypes.

Back to depressing ‘forming deeper connections’ land for a bit though. Rhonda and Sharron aren’t talking much to each other, which frustrates her. Sharron looks like he prefers spending time with David instead because he can connect better with him. That’s sweet, till David says he’s flirted with both Chloe and Rhonda, but nothing has happened, which is a legit record for him that he’s proud of. I doubt that very much as he also looks like he’s about to burst into tears. He then tells us how well he clicks with Sharron, and how funny, bubbly and charismatic he is. Maybe the 2 of them should just get together? Workshop Time! Today’s workshop is called ‘Without Words’, where the contestants will focus on their communication skills because body language constitutes 55% of the way we communicate. Kelz has been paired with Francesca, which she likes, but which Harry hates. She also likes the fact that he’s been paired with Haley because there’s no chance anything is ever going to happen there. David and Rhonda are together, which of course Sharron dislikes. And we have Bryce and Chloe, who calls her Bambi, and then confirms to her great relief, that it wasn’t Bambi, but his mother who died. Their first task is to embrace their partner expressing the emotion they see on a blackboard in front of them. The emotion is ‘Excitement’, and Rhonda instantly makes Sharron jealous by overdoing her hug of David, which he compares to ‘Someone running up to him at an airport after not having seen him for a long time’. Sharron is jealous, but needn’t worry much, because David spells excitement as ‘Exitement’ when he has to guess the emotion. Also not happy is Harry, who can’t believe Francesca would want to spend time with ‘Peanut Brains’ AKA Kelz.

Stage 2 of the Workshop is soul gazing, which reminds of me a game I have played in the past where you stare into someone’s eyes and see who blinks first. Anyway, they all seem pretty serious about it, not in the least Chloe, who is astonished to discover that you can actually stare through someone’s soul. David starts crying because he realizes he can’t spell simple words as a grown man and that his education was worthless. JK, he starts crying because he apparently sees who Rhonda really is and that she’s not just beautiful and sexy. Cool story. Works on Rhonda though, but now she’s in a fix because she ‘genuinely likes David’ and ‘genuinely likes Sharron’.

It’s Rewards Time! Everyone’s gathered at the dreaded palapa, and Lana says she has a gift for everyone. Harry opens up a box, which has a set of watches. So basically, when the watches are neutral, the rules of the retreat apply. When the colour changes to green, they have a chance to ‘connect’. Lana quickly dampens everyone’s excitement though by informing them that it will only light up if they’ve formed a ‘genuine connection’. Interesting. In other news, Francesca has been set up on a date with Kelz. She, of course, sees this as a perfect opportunity to ‘get the light to turn green’, completely forgetting what she was told just a few minutes ago about the genuine connections bit. Kelz takes a break from his busy workout routine to confirm he’s interested too and says that despite the date being in a hot tub, he’s going to ‘set an example’.

Harry isn’t too pleased by this, he still can’t understand how she could go on a date with someone ‘a lot uglier than him’. I know! He and his heartbroken friend Sharron snigger as they pass by the hot tub, and say ‘bruh’ a lot to each other. Kelz doesn’t care, he says Harry had his opportunity and ‘at this level, we finish our chances’. Despite him telling her that their story is like Romeo and Juliet, Francesca still wants to kiss him and make everyone lose 3 grand. Kelz is being the adult though and only wants to do it when the light turns green, thus ending this riveting 2 minutes of television. But Francesca’s not done yet. She wants to break the rules, and she’s going to do whatever it takes. Not going to work on our accountant though, he resists the temptation even when they get in the shower together, much to her dismay. David tells Rhonda how much he likes her, especially after that weird soul gazing exercise they had earlier that day. But he’s in a dilemma because he also likes Sharron. No, not ‘like that’, but he still doesn’t want to hurt him. Rhonda tells him to sort it out himself because she still ‘genuinely likes’ them both.

It’s heartbreak time! First up are David and Sharron. Sharron is pissed off that David’s been sneaking on him, but David defends himself by saying he fancies Rhonda and feels a spark, and doesn’t feel Sharron is doing enough for her. All Sharron wants is to be loved, and he says he’s already opened up to Rhonda. That’s enough for David, who looks like he’s going to burst into tears again, but composes himself as he hugs Sharron tightly, telling him to ‘go for it’. I’m not sure who he’s more upset about losing here.

The next check-in to Heartbreak Hotel is Kelz and Francesca, who obviously have very different ideas about how their date went. Kelz is proud of himself, and is convinced this makes him more ‘wanted’. Talk about misreading the situation. Francesca’s pride has been hurt, and this means she realizes she is still attracted to Harry. How does that even work? She tells Kelz exactly that though, who wishes he hadn’t stopped working out just to hear that. He doesn’t take it too well, saying “I don’t struggle to get girls” to anyone who’d listen. And just like that, Sharron and Rhonda are on a date. I mean, it’s the last 5 minutes of an episode that’s focused heavily on whether the green light lights up. But will it?! Yes. They kiss. Super romantic, and not made for TV at all. To be honest, this was not a bad scene till Sharron said “We could be Obama 2.0”, and then this exchange, Rhonda: “We might have lost a dollar there”, Sharon: ‘As long as I got you, I’m rich”. Puke.

To round off this rather boring episode, our new golden couple, Rhonda and Sharron have been awarded a night in a private suite. Of course, there are no more green lights tonight, which makes it the ‘ultimate test of chastity’. Will they be able to just watch TV, make conversation and go to sleep? Find out in the next episode!